Everything is psychology and communication. The better we understand and implement the principles of both, the better we are at everything. I cite this motto to nearly everyone I meet, everywhere I go, and have found that it has applied in every circumstance I have ever encountered. Today, I am starting this conversation with you because I also deeply believe that:
Everything is psychology and communication – especially style.
Just like us, and our psyches, our styles are individual. There is no one-size fits all rule of style. Try as they may (and many have), there is no singular, consummate style guide. The most successful style is on an individual level which is contrary to the daily agenda of our society to brand an individual’s style and market it to the masses. “Don’t you want to look like Kate or Gwen or Gaga?” Sure… in some ways… sometimes… or at a costume party…
But style – real style – is not about looking like someone else. If you love someone else’s style – I want to encourage you to consider that – what about it do you love and connect with? What elements do you like? What do you see about yourself in that other person’s style? What about it are you already incorporating? What about it feels really good to you?
Real style is about realizing and then expressing your fullest potential and truest self.
This is why it is important to learn ourselves (psychologically and stylistically), to understand our motivations, to put words around our intentions, to practice cognition and behaviors that will contribute to attaining your goal and expressing your true self.
So how do psychology and style connect? Well, in this forum it is my hope to discuss just that. I believe that there is sufficient evidence to support that everything we do related to our style relates at its core to psychological theory or practice. I want to explore why we see what we see as style, why it matters, how it happens and how to leverage that understanding in best representing ourselves through our styles. The principles underlying cognition, perception, evolutionary psychology, psychodynamics, the bio-psycho-social connections, cognitive-behavioral therapy, health psychology, social psychology all have implications for style!
So, who am I? (As I hear that question in my head – imagining it being asked of me in the thick, New Jersey accent of one of my favorite friends, accompanied with her flair for hand gestures, and sarcastically bobbing head.) Who am I to talk about this? Good question.
Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers expounds on the theory that it takes 10,000 hours of doing something to truly be an expert.[i] If time spent thinking about it counts, I’m in! I’m a little obsessed. I can’t help it – I see myself in real life like a costume director on a movie set, looking at every implication of every piece of raiment and trying to understand what each detail represents about that person or character. Seriously, I can’t walk through a public place or watch a movie – any movie (from “Hope Floats” to “Fiddler on the Roof” to “Reservoir Dogs”) without trying to analyze their choice in wardrobe.
I am an avid shopper, and am well read in the literature of Lucky, W, In Style and Vogue, and many others less loyally. I adore the show “What Not to Wear” and watch it whenever I get the chance. Since my childhood’s earliest memories I have been critically creating, accumulating, and analyzing my wardrobe (and that of my dolls, and anyone else within a reasonable proximity). I literally draw out what I want to pack for a trip. When I started a new job a few years ago, I created index cards with pictures of all of my best pieces. My first masterpiece, at the age of six, was a dress I laid out on our living room floor, and with the help of my mother traced the outline of my body, cut it (with safety scissors of course), and resourcefully stapled together (as I wasn’t allowed to use a needle on my own).
On a more concrete level, my Bachelor of Arts degree is in psychology with a minor in communication. My Master of Arts degree is in clinical psychology, which formalized my training in research methodology and clinical practice. At present, I am a project manager by day and a style-analyst by night.
Let’s be clear: I am by no means the fullest representation of style. I am a work in progress (as my mama says) and a whole-hearted student of it – striving everyday to realize and express my true style. What I aim to share with you is based on my perceptions, understanding, and preferences. I am also not an expert in psych theory but I have studied them and will seek expert opinion as much as possible. I am a researcher at heart and pledge to earnestly, thoroughly research and represent theories as accurately and transparently as possible. I believe in being candid. I strive for clarity. I will do my best to model mindfulness and kindness, and represent everyone as equally and honestly as I can.
Some think that this obsession with style is trivial but it matters to me. It interests me and I find it inspiring – like art, like great music, like the joy of getting to know new people – it is what I love and I want to share it with you.
Plus! From the nerd in me - it’s exciting to learn! These theories of psychology helped me to see the world differently (arguably more fully) and to be better prepared to relate to others by giving me different perspectives and new levels of understanding and compassion. I have found that it is an added level for connecting with others – which is one of our greatest gifts as human beings.
Let’s explore this psychology of style together. Tell me if it makes sense in your life – to you – for you. I can’t wait to hear what you think!
One last note for this introduction, when we look at our own styles, let’s be kind to ourselves. Change what you can of what you care about – and forgive yourself the rest.
Talk with you soon!
Tarah
[i] Gladwell M. (2008) Outliers: The Story of Success. Little, Brown and Company, New York, NY.
